Can you tell which of these photos I felt sick in? Some of them are from the hospital, some are from the car pick up line, some from the house. The answer to the question is every single one of them.
Some of them I have on makeup and curled hair which hides the red face and tired eyes, but in EVERY single one of them I was sick. Maybe having a good day or not feeling terrible in that photo, but I was sick. I have had someone say to me, “you look so healthy, I’m so glad you’re over the sickness”. Just like someone said how far Bentley has come, and asked was he still autistic…
Autism and CF are GENETIC. They can be NOT be cured or healed. Yes, Bentley has come so far in the past year with his speech and his behavior, but I assure you he is still autistic. Yes, the IV antibiotics got rid of the active infection in my body, but I still have CF.
The worst thing anyone has ever said to me is that I don’t have enough faith in God and that’s why I am still sick. That I “don’t want to be healed” so that’s why I don’t have faith. I believe in God 100% and I believe he is powerful. BUT EVERYONE is not meant to be healed. Everyone’s testimony is not healing. Some people’s testimony is that through everything, they have been through, every trial, they got back up and fought another day. Their testimony may be that he gave them the strength to fight through everything and anything life threw at them. Telling me that I don’t have enough faith and that it’s my fault that I’m still sick is a slap in the face. I pray every night that I have the strength to get up and do what I need to do for my family the next day.
However, I am realistic. I’m not going to live my life dwelling on the fact that God MIGHT cure me. If he does, then that’s wonderful and I will praise him. If he doesn’t, that’s okay too. I am a realist. That means that I am straight to the point and realistic about my expectations. I know I am strong, and I could probably do a lot of things, but I don’t. Because while that day I may be able to do it, the next days after will be torture for my body. I don’t plan anything too far ahead unless I have to, because I never know if I’m going to wake up sick & end up in the hospital. That is my reality. I have to bargain with myself on what I can and cannot do, realistically.
Please, take my advice. There are a few things you should NEVER say to someone with chronic illness, invisible or rare illnesses, or chronic pain.
“If you had more faith, God would heal you”
“You don’t look sick, are you SURE you are diagnosed correctly?”
“If you just take ______, it’ll cure you!”
“My sisters brothers cousins aunt has that, so I totally know what you are going through!”
“I had a (pulled muscle, pneumonia, flu, cold) last week and I thought I was dying so I can totally relate to how you feel being sick”
“Maybe if you exercised more or ate healthy, you would feel a million times better!”
And the worst of all
“You are always sick, it can’t be that bad, there’s no way anyone can be sick this often AKA you’re faking or exaggerating”
You want to help your friend/family member? RESEARCH their condition, ask them REAL questions, say “if you need anything let me know AND MEAN IT, but most of all, DO NOT question whether they are really sick. DO NOT tell them it’s their fault they are sick.
be kind to one another